Step 54 - Have a Food Tasting with your Caterer and Decide on Wedding Hors d'oeuvres

(4 Months to 6 Months before the Wedding)
Most wedding caterers will offer a taste testing session to help you in deciding which entrees are best to serve at your wedding. If it's a sit down dinner, most of the time you need to come up with three main dishes, you want to consider a delicious meal, with an elegant food presentation on how the food is displayed on the plate and you want to pick foods that will work within your budget. If you need to cut down on the budget, you can often opt for a buffet style dinner, or go with the less expensive entrees. You might consider going with very inexpensive hors d'oeuvres or no hors d'oeuvres or limit the hard liquor options.

When you attend the food tasting session with the caterer, the bride and groom should make the decision together, many caterers won't even charge the bride and groom for the food tasting session. You should make a fun time of it and invite a couple of extra guests along to the food tasting, could be the bride's parents, the groom's parents, the maid-of-honor, the best man and a buddy, sisters, brothers, or close friends. There may be a minimal charge for invited guests at the tasting, it could be something like $5, but for the delicacies your guests get to try, the fee is well worth the price.

Pace yourself at a food tasting, you want a good tasting of all the foods and you don't want to eat too fast, or else you will find yourself stuffed and not get a good taste on all the food options. If there is a bar with the caterer, you might include a bottle of wine to clean your palette between tastings or, if wine is allowed, bring your own wine. If wine is not available you should keep a glass or bottled water at the table and wet your lips after each sampling. Be sure to get feedback from all your guests, get constructive criticism on what meals are best.

At the end of the food sampling you want to identify three separate entrees, in three different food categories. One of the categories should always be vegetarian, as in a wedding guest list there is almost always a few vegetarians in the crowd. The foods choices might be beef, chicken, and pasta, or pork, seafood, and vegetarian, etc. When the food tasting is over, if at all possible to go back in the kitchen and pay compliments to the chef. Sometimes, if you leave a good impression, the chef may do some favors for you the day of your wedding, add some desserts for free or leave you with a little treat to take home.

If there is a favorite food that you like, that was not part of the food tasting, you may ask the caterer about the possibilities, could be something like prime rib, filet mignon, or veal marsala or a favorite meal you enjoy, very often a chef can accommodate your wishes. On the foods you are choosing, try to have the caterer show how the food will it be presented, for weddings food presentations are as important as the food being served.

As you are with the caterer, take note of the attentiveness of the wait staff. Pay attention on the front end (servers) as well as kitchen staff (chef) on how well they communicate with one another. Do things run smoothly, or in an unorganized manner. This tip is important if you plan to hire the caterer's wait staff. Get contacts and referrals from prior weddings of some previous brides and grooms and see if they were happy with the caterer, food presentation, and the food. Remember, when picking the wedding caterer, it's nice to get feedback, but the ultimate decision maker is the bride and groom.

Don't ever keep wedding guests waiting for food at wedding receptions, try to incorporate a cocktail - hors d'oeuvres happy hour before the formal wedding reception. Always provide seating for older weary guests. If you don't provide seating some of your older guests just may not have a good time and decide to leave early.

Keep the hors d'oeuvres varied and flowing! You may consider to have them butlered (passed) and in addition displayed on a buffet or reception table. The rule of thumb is to offer a set of hors d'oeuvres with every 4-5 people and expect each person to eat 6-8 hors d'oeuvres per hour. One hour of serving appetizers is good for most weddings that have a formal wedding dinner. Serve some cooler hors d'oeuvres (called canapes) in the summertime and a higher percentage of hot hors d'oeuvres in the wintertime. If the wedding is a formal affair, cut down on the amount of drippy hors d'oeuvres and sauces or risk some of the guests getting stains on their expensive dresses and tuxedos.

If you are having a an outdoor or an estate wedding. You can buy bulk hors d'oeuvres at discount stores such as Costco, BJs, Sams, and from gourmet food delivery businesses such as Horizon Foods. You also might find hors d'oeuvres that you can purchase from Catering Companies, Reception Facilities, Upscale Hotels that offer weddings, Upscale Rehearsal Dinner Restaurants, and some Wedding Bakeries and Delicatessens too.

Strike a balance of different types of hors d'oeuvres. Most hors d'oeuvres served at weddings should be unique and talked about, with foods you normally don't see at your home. You want to see a good variety of meats, cheeses, doughy foods, seafood, veggies, and fruits. You want to provide enough food to control guest's hunger pains before the formal wedding reception but not too many hors d'oeuvres, that stuffs all the guests for dinner. Don't leave food on bread or crackers out for more than a couple of hours or the foods may spoil. If friends or family is preparing the catered food, make sure there are enough preparations tools to go around. Purchase extra tools such as paring knives, melon ballers, meatball scoopers, cheese slicer, or measuring spoons. You can leave extra tools as wedding favors.

If there are hors d'oeuvres after the wedding, consider dropping the leftovers at a senior citizens complex, a convalescent home, or a soup kitchen and leave the disadvantaged with a rare treat. If you find any hors d'oeuvres takes a lot of time and effort to prepare, by family or friends, consider using easier recipes. Try to minimize the effort, by freezing hors d'oeuvre's that you can prepare beforehand, and just need to be popped in the oven at the wedding reception. Some hors d'oeuvres should be made into show pieces such as standing cocktails with a dish on a trumpet cups or delicacies of food on skewering sticks. Make sure all the wait staff are dressed appropriately for the wedding.

In recent years, cocktail/hors d'oeuvres wedding receptions are becoming more and more popular, especially in cases where the bride and groom are dealing with a very tight budget. Many venues frown on these type of wedding receptions because their margins are not as strong, much more money is made from a formal wedding reception. If you have a cocktail/hors d'oeuvre wedding reception, it is recommended you include a nice salad bar. Remember to include a wide assortment of salads and condiments, such as potato salad, macaroni salad, basic salad, uncommon soups, chips and dips such as avacado, salsa, vegetable, and spinach, and it's good to include tropical fruits such as mango, papaya, kiwi, strawberry, bananas, pineapple, watermelon, coconut, honey dew, and cantelope. Think about decorative fruit displays into some of the trays. Think of serving rarer cheeses and various sliced meats like pepperoni, prosciutti and salami.

Remember at any cocktail/hors d'oeuvres receptions think about including an open bar and think about including some soft music to entertain your guests. You might offer live music, such as a string quartet, flutist, pianist, harpist, or a guitarist. You may think about including a slide show of the couple growing up and some of their engagement photos at the cocktail part of the reception.

Your best cocktail/hors d'oeuvres wedding events are when the hors d'oeuvres become a talking point. Either the hors d'oeuvres offer an eye popping display, the guest has no idea what they had just eaten, or it will be a case of "Why didn't I think of that"?


100 hors d'oeuvre ideas are listed below to research in recipe books or off the internet!

1. Asian Spring Rolls
2. Asparagas and Prosciutti Bundles
3. Avocado Appetizers and Ginkgo Nut Skewers
4. Bacon Onion Appetizers
5. Bacon Water Chestnut Wraps
6. Baked Venison
7. Barbecued Ribs
8. Barbecued Swedish Meatballs
9. Beef and Onion Turnovers
10. Beef Wellington Appetizers
11. Bloomin' Onion Petal with Chipotle Sauce
12. Buffalo Wings
13. California Baja Rolls
14. Cheeseburger Sliders
15. Cheese Puffs with Bacon
16. Chicken and Bacon Shish Kebobs
17. Chicken Quesidillas
18. Chicken Satay Brochette with Peanut Sauce
19. Chilean Sea Bass Wellington
20. Chinese Won Tons with Plum Sauce
21. Coconut Shrimp with Mango Chutney
22. Cocktail Meatballs cooked in Grape Jelly and Chili Sauce
23. Crab Josephines
24. Crudite served in Shot Glasses
25. Cuban Christo with Mustard and Chives
26. Cucumber Appetizers with Herbed Cream Cheese
27. Curried Chicken Tea Sandwiches
28. Escargot in Mushroom Caps
29. Fried Beer Raviolis
30. Fruit Kabobs mixed with Seafood
31. Greek Triangle Puffs
32. Grilled Eggplant and Gorgonzola/Crostini
33. Grilled Seafood Flautas Recipe
34. Ham Stuffed Biscuits with Mustard
35. Japanese Izakayo
36. Jumbo Lump Carp Imperial in Bouchee
37. Jumbo Prawns
38. Lamb Skewers with Blackberry and Shalot Horseradish
39. Lobster and Mango Cocktail
40. Lobster Profiteroles
41. Macaroni Lollipops
42. Marinated Artichoke Hearts Venezia
43. Meat Filled Calzones
44. Mediterranean Meze
45. Mini Beef Fajitas
46. Mini Caviar Parfait
47. Mini Cheddar and Green Onion Quiche
48. Mini Lobster Rolls
49. Mini Lox and Bagels
50. Mini Monte Christo
51. Mini Pancakes with Blueberries and Strawberries
52. Mini Pulled Pork Sandwiches
53. Mini Reuben Sandwiches
54. Miscarpone and Fig Bouchet
55. Mozzarella Sticks
56. Mushroom and Onion Turnovers
57. Mushroom Caps with Stuffed Crab
58. Oyster Rockefeller
59. Pepperoni and Prosciutti and Mozarella on Crackers
60. Pesto Coins with Cheese and Nuts
61. Petite Cocktail Quiche
62. Pigs in a Blanket with Potent Mustard Sauce
63. Pinwheel Appetizers with Cream Cheese
64. Pizza Bites
65. Pot Stickers with a Sesame Sauce
66. Quiche Lorraine
67. Reuben Spring Rolls
68. Roasted Pear and Bleu Cheese Filo
69. Roasted Tomato and Olive Tarts
70. Sausage and Apple Skewers
71. Sausage Bundles with Meat Onion and Prattles
72. Sea Scallops Wrapped In Bacon
73. Sesame Chick with Spicy Apricot Sauce
74. Shiitake and Portobello Mushrooms
75. Shrimp Cocktail
76. Shrimp Daviche
77. Shrimp, Scallop and Lobster Kabob
78. Shrimp Toast
79. Skewered Chicken with Timbocca and Sage
80. Skewered Pork Appetizers
81. Skewered Tortellini with Parmesian Sauce
82. Sliced and Toasted Bagulette
83. Southwestern Egg Rolls
84. Smoked Cheese and Pepperoni Cornucopia
85. Smoked Salmon with Cognac Mayo/Crostini
86. Spanakopitas
87. Spanish, French, or American Tapas
88. Spicy Buffalo Wings
89. Spicy Marinated Flank Steak
90. Spring Tarts
91. Stuffed Deviled Eggs with Coconut Chutney or Caviar
92. Stuffed Jalapeno Bites
93. Stuffed Mushrooms with Crabmeat and Spicy Cream Cheese
94. Summer Squash Tamales
95. Sun-dried Tomato Cheesecake
96. Tamale Balls
97. Teriyaki Ribbon Chicken or Beef on a Skewer
98. Truffles
99. Twiced Baked Potato Skins
100. Yummy Honey Chicken Kabobs

Make sure you review the catered list of foods and hors d'oeuvres before signing the contract, take note when final payments are due so the caterer can order the food. Also review if there are other supplies needed for the wedding, caterers sometimes have extra equipment, tables, and chairs. Make sure your wedding food is delicious, eye catching, and affordable! See you on the other side!

Step 13 - Do Preliminary Research for your Wedding

(9 Months to 24 Months Before the Wedding)
If all systems are go, you have decided to plan your own wedding, and you are not going to use a wedding planner, if you want the wedding of your dreams, you have to do preliminary research. You want to start out with developing ideas. Either go to your local bookstore and go through the magazine section and browse through wedding related magazines.  You want to look at Bridal Magazines, find wedding dresses that you like and pick up fashion ideas for your bridal party including gowns and tuxedos. Take note of bridal accessories too.

You also want to find magazines that feature flower ideas for the wedding focusing on bouquet styles and floral arrangements for wedding receptions. You want to look for wedding hairdo styles you like and what style of makeup looks good on brides. You want to look at food magazines to think about what type of food you want to serve at the wedding. What hors d'oeuvres to serve before the wedding reception? What should be your color scheme for the wedding? Either take notes or pick up a magazine or two which include photos on styles you like. You can pick up ideas also at the library or off the internet or even off your IPad if you happen to own one of these. If you are able you want to clip out designs or fabrics that grab your attention and put into clear plastic baggies.

The next thing you want to do is to create a spreadsheet geared toward identifying wedding vendors. You may find a wedding vendor tracking templates or spreadsheets from wedding websites or Google docs wedding or you can create your own spreadsheet using Google docs or Excel or some other spreadsheet package. You can also set up your wedding planner that under every tab is a page devoted to wedding vendors. Don't forget to staple a plastic bag with pictures or notes under the matching wedding category. Another idea is to find or pick up an index box and have all your wedding vendors with each category tabbed in the index box.

You may want to lay out your spreadsheet in the following order going across the page: 1) Rank order number of your vendor, 2) Wedding category, 3) Name of vendor, 4) Location or address of vendor, 5) Phone number of vendor, 6) Website address of vendor, 7) Email or electronic address of vendor, 8) Budgeted Amount 9) Actual amount quoted for your headcount, 10) Quote for minimum headcount, 11) Quote for maximum headcount, 12) Contact person, 13) Contact person phone number, 14) Contact person email if different than above, 15) Is Vendor available for your wedding date, 16) Status, and 17) Notes.

A couple of things to note on your spreadsheet, as you contact each vendor you want to try to get a range of headcount to help you out on your wedding planning.  For example, you may target 130 people for your wedding, but some might not show or budget limitations knock your target down, you want to do what if's as you do your preliminary planning. At a minimum you may have 100. The same holds through, what happens if your list expands to 160. As you talk to vendors in the preliminary stage you should try to get quotes for what you expect then minimum and maximum amounts. For example, you will ask, How much will the wedding cost for 100, 130, and 160 guests? In your 16) Status column you might show four possibilities ("booked", "targeted", "possible", "rejected"). You could also color code your status lines so it stands out and if someone needs to get a hold of the vendor they are easy to identify. You can color code your booked vendor red for example on your spreadsheet, keep notes on the top or bottom to show what the color codes mean.

The way I break down wedding categories is as follows, in alphabetical order: 1) Bed & Breakfast, 2) Bridal Fashions & Tuxedos, 3) Catering, 4) Ceremony Sites, 5) Churches & Chapels, 6) Dance Instruction, 7) Decorations, 8) Disc Jockeys, 9) Favors, 10) Florists, 11) Gifts & Registries, 12) Health & Beauty, 13) Honeymoons & Activities, 14) Hotels & Resorts, 15) Invitations, 16) Jewelers, 17) Live Music, 18) Makeup Artists & Cosmetics, 19) Officiants, 20) Photographers, 21) Reception Facilities, 22) Rehearsal Dinner, 23) Rental Services, 24) Sweets & Treats, 25) Transportation, 26) Videographers, 27) Wedding Cakes, and 28) Wedding Planners. This is to give you an idea, you may break the categories any way you want, break apart categories further, add, subtract, organize it any way that fits your needs.

Each day, you can focus on working a specific category.  It might take you a few weeks working on this project.  Take each and every category and either go through the internet looking at wedding websites or go through the yellow pages and find them or visit a business in person to check them out. Find 3, 4 or 5 vendors to identify for say "Catering".  The businesses you identify go into your spreadsheet.  When the time comes for interviewing the wedding vendor, you can quickly look them up to make appointments.  You can target making appointments with the same type of vendor on the same day. You can meet with one vendor at 10:00 a.m., have lunch somewhere, meet another at 1:00, another at 3:00. Always try to bring a friend and always try to make the appointment fun, a learning and rewarding experience.

You can make initial contact with some vendors by phoning them or emailing them, to find out the minimum and maximum their business holds and how far in advance can you book? If you have a lot of vendors you want to preliminarily checkout, you could even find their email addresses by looking in the internet or calling them for their email address and ask if they could send you preliminary information. Just to note, some businesses show email addresses and some don't show it because they feel they get too much spam. If the email is not in the website you can try to see if it shows by putting the business address in Google and put the word "email" after putting in the website address in your searcht. Facebook or Twitter is another option of making contact with many businesses.

When you meet with most businesses ( except for bridal shops), let the businesses do most of the talking first and and in some cases you don't want to divulge you are having a wedding, (you are having a party!). If you say the word "wedding" at a rental store, sometimes you get put into a wedding bucket and the prices for the weddings are much higher than the prices for just a party. Be mindful at the type of business you are dealing with. Don't let businesses take you for a ride and charge you a lot more, just because you said the word "wedding". Remember, you have the upper hand, don't let businesses take advantage, they have to earn your business.

Sometimes you may get a strong lead on a vendor, the business comes highly recommended. It still is a good idea to check out 3 or 4 vendors. Your goal always is to get the best vendor at a good price. The vendor recommended may be good but you might find a vendor better or a similar vendor at a much lower cost. Your chemistry has to vibe too, maybe the chemistry for that one vendor was good for that other couple but it doesn't mean you will have the same chemistry. You want each vendor that's a good friend and someone you can readily communicate too.

Before booking with vendors, check them out with the better business bureau, pull up the name of the business and see if any complaints or issues come up for that vendor. You always hear of the cases where brides have paid thousands for their wedding day dresses and when it comes time to pick up their dress they find the business has closed and they are out of their money with no dress and they are scrambling around to figure out what to do with their wedding. Keep in ready contact with your wedding vendors so there are no surprises.

Your assignment for a few weeks is each day pick a wedding category and lay out the top 3, 4, or 5 wedding vendors to target. Put the information of your top ones into a spreadsheet, and when the time comes to make appointments you are raring to go and calling and making appointments is the easy part. Make sure you coordinate your appointment days with anyone that is coming along with you. Remember, you have the upper hand as you meet with these wedding vendors. Your goal with each wedding vendor is to get the best deal possible, save on costs, make some friends and learn something. Do this one wedding vendor at a time and you are going to have a fabulous wedding!!!

That's how you preliminary research for your wedding, see you on the other side.

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