Saturday, February 26, 2011

Step 1 - Get Engaged/Announce Your Engagement

 (9 to 24 Months Before the Wedding)
Deciding to get married is one of the most important decisions you will ever have to make in your life!  Most of the articles that will be written in my blogs are geared to the bride.  This particular blog is more geared toward the groom.  Wedding traditions dictate over the years that the guy is the one that is suppose to initiate the proposal.

Before talking about the proposal I will digress a little bit.  It is important to be sure you know each other well enough that your relationship is true love and not puppy love.  You see, when a guy and a girl first meet sometimes, excitement fills the air and the couple sees each other through rose colored glasses, they only see almost perfection with each other.  It may be physical, emotional, or physical attraction and at first all the encounters of doing things together are new and exciting.  For a relationship to be strong, it is important to know each other a little behind the scenes.

Every person tends to fall into a personality type.  Some people have strong A type personalities, and some are laid back.  Some people are day people, some are night owls.  Some live on the phone, some like peace and quiet.  Some people live every free moment of the day on the computer, some are afraid to touch a computer.  Some people are always on the go, some are homebodies.  Some like a warm house and some like it air conditioned.  Some are workaholics and some enjoy life a little more.

The important thing before getting engaged is, make sure you know each other well enough, to know each other's strengths and weaknesses.  Do your personalities meld with other and a person tends to have their best looks in their marrying years, will you still be in love when the looks are gone.  Life is short and the biological is ticking, you can't take too long to decide on getting married.  Just be sure you know each other well enough before making the big decision.

Proposing is (Hopefully), a once in a lifetime event.  It is always a special moment on a girl's life.  It is a must that a guy gets down on one knee, presents a ring, tell her you have a couple a things to tell her, it may be "I have something very important to tell you", "You have been very special to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with you", "Will you marry me?".  Then open up the ring box!

A couple of things to mention here.  You must have a ring and you must kneel on one knee to propose.  All girls expect a proposal to happen this way no matter if the girl is a romantic or tom boy.  Second, if you know exactly what type of ring the girl likes and you have identified the size of her finger, presenting the ring as you propose is great.  It is safer though to go shopping together for an engagement ring, present a giant candy ring as a symbolic gesture, having something to slip on her finger is crucial.

Always make the proposal a surprise!  Chances are a girlfriend can read you like a book.  If she knows it's coming it will take a little wind out of the proposal.  When you propose, a girl's dream proposal is to hear a list of some of the thing's the girl loves and include them in the proposal.

Fast forward, before you propose, if you are able you should first meet with her parent's and tell them you would like their daughter's hand in marriage. Sometimes it works this way, you propose to her, then immediately ask her parents.  After approaching her parents you want to tell his parent's you are about to propose and can tell your best trustworthy friends.

You should avoid telling a lot of people before hand to prevent the proposal being a surprise or an embarrassment.  What if she found out beforehand to ruin the surprise or what if she were to say "no".  A proposal that becomes an embarrassment such as proposing at a stadium can not only become a 'no' but can also become a lost friend.  Make sure you are both truly in love if the proposal should happen in a public place.  With a private proposal a 'no' can become a 'yes' in another place and time.

Can a girl propose to a guy, of course she can.  You can choose a special day like Valentine's Day, his birthday, your birthday, the anniversary when you met, New Years, Christmas, a day that has meaning.  You also want to pick a safe place, a garden, a beach, a park, a scenic view, or a private spot of an upscale restaurant.  You can propose just like a guy down on one knee proposing with an inexpensive ring.

Be calm before asking the question, tell him you want his full attention, as you want to tell him something very important.  Get him prepared for the moment then look into his eyes, express your feelings, present the ring and pop the question.  Tell him that you love him, and why you love him, ask him what he thinks about being in a relationship with you, but don't force him into an answer with your proposal.  With some guys it's an ego thing, he may need a little time to think it over, or he may be thrilled you ask because of a little shyness.

Whatever happens, it takes two to tango, you both have to be truly in love.  If the engagement answer is 'no' sometimes a 'no' is devastating at first but often it is a blessing in disguise.  You can't be waiting forever and it just wasn't meant to be and now you are free to find a true love.  If it is a 'no' be sure to find out if it's a 'no' at this moment, that it may turn to a 'yes' someday or does a 'no' mean 'no'.  You can have this conversation after he has a chance to think things over.

If the answer is "yes" and the engagement is on, you both want to announce the engagement to the bride's parents first.  Meet with them in person if possible, ask for their blessing and talk a little bit about your plans whether you will use a wedding planner or a diy wedding (do it yourself). Next meet with the groom's parents and share the plans with them as well.  Now you can tell the rest of the immediate family, close friends, and even any children of your families.  Make sure both parties are communicating and are on the same page as you proceed with all aspects of the wedding family process.

That's the engagement story, yesterday I tried to download a table showing wedding planners and the table did not download properly.  I will try again and once that process is working I will upload all the wedding vendors in Orlando, a different wedding category every day.  Once I have mastered all the steps on building this blog, I will share all I that I have learned with brides and wedding vendors.  Maybe you will have found a way to make some extra money that can go towards your wedding or just a little extra income source.  I will share high level how the finances went through the process.  I promise to share this all with you once I have completed the 100 step wedding checklist process.

See you on the other side (Tomorrow)!

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