Monday, June 13, 2011
Step 81 - Decide on the Rules for a Bachelor Party
The world of bachelor parties have changed, they aren't exactly what they used to be. The bachelor party used to be a night on the town with the boys which begins immediately after the rehearsal dinner making stops at go go bars and strip clubs. It would be a night full of beer guzzling, smoking stogies, and getting lap dances, stripteases and getting friendly with the opposite sex. The wedding day might end in a disaster with the groom and groomsmen attending a wedding with a nice bachelor party hangover.
Well in reality, thank God, the scenario was the exception and not the rule. Today there are organized bachelor parties and even the girls have gotten into the act and with bachelorette parties too. If there is to be a bachelor party, the party must take place at least 3 days before the wedding. Most bachelor parties take place the weekend before the wedding or two weeks before the wedding. Too much planning and money is put into a wedding so the wedding couple needs to be at their best and leave a good impression on all their invited guests.
The bride-to-be and groom-to-be should bring up the bachelor party conversation two months before the wedding, what will they agree to allow. Will they allow there to be a house party, a same sex bonding activity, clubbing at a night club, or allow each other go to a go-go bar, strip club, or for the ladies to go see a Chip-n-Dales review. Sometimes the event is a surprise, you are told to be ready for a bachelor party and have no idea what's in store.
If both of you are fine with your significant other going to a bachelor party, then everything is fine, just be sure not to go over the line or get out of control with excessive drinking. But probably the best alternative is to help organize a bachelor party yourselves, but you both must be involved in some type of bachelor party. After discussing the type of party you will allow, discuss the possibilities with the maid-of-honor and best man.
One option is to have a party at someone's home, everyone is suppose to bring a sexy or a gag gift. You might even play dirty games and serve little weiners or sausage sandwiches, offer an x-rated cake and create drinks with a sexy name. Make sure you take some good pictures but with camera equipment you can develop pictures yourself. Make sure if there is naughty stuff, make sure your invited guests are tolerant of such activities. If you aren't sure, let guests know before the party so they can decide for themselves to attend the party or not.
The next type of bachelor party is a same sex bonding party. For the guys, this may be a day of golf, going fishing, visiting a brewery, go white water rafting, play paintball, go to a go cart place, go to batting cages, have a poker night, play laser tag, or do some water sports. For the girls you might choose to go to a show, have a day of shopping, visit a winery, go bowling, play miniature golf, see a movie, or have a wine and cheese party. Every group has their own interests, choose an interest most like to do.
A popular trend in recent years are the Jack and Jill bachelor parties. These parties work well if the couple shares the same group of friends. If not, make sure the bride's friends and the groom's friends share the same areas if interest and will mix well together. (Jock groups, Sophisticate groups, Nerd groups, and Party groups may not bond well together).
The venue for a Jack and Jill bachelor party could be a house, barbecue, beach home, a camping trip, or could be a trip to a nightclub or casino. It also could be a fun day at an amusement park, a water park, or a day at the beach.
Jack and Jill bachelor parties are also used to raise money for the wedding couple if they are short on cash as they approach the wedding. The maid of honor and best man are responsible for organizing the event. They might have a sports tournament (golf, foosball, darts, beer pong, volleyball, softball, horseshoes) or they might include a casino tournament (poker, roulette, black jack, baccarat). They might consider an outing for a concert or sporting event and supply tickets creating a profit margin that goes to the wedding couple. Or might create a 50/50 for drinks or as an entrance fee and offer up a bottle of wine or something like a picnic basket.
There is one rule for a Jack and Jill bachelor party that everyone must abide. The event must be simple, no extravagance is allowed. No buying fancy decorations, ice sculptures, or serving fancy foods. Extravagance is saved for but the wedding day itself. Serve simple which includes barbecue, pizza, take out foods, or have guests bring their own specialties. Beer, wine, and homemade daiquiris are allowed but no other hard liquor is allowed. Extravagant spending is considered wasteful spending for this event, is less money for the bride-to-be and groom-to-be.
The next bachelor option is the nightclub option. The question is, is it a night on the town with just the guys or just the girls or is it a coed event. If you are going clubbing, it's might be best to lease a limousine or a party bus or assign a designated driver, a person who won't drink too much. Make sure before one goes clubbing there is not much drinking in the day and the person going clubbing has good filling meals during the day too. Drinks are more likely to effect one on an empty stomach.
The best man is suppose to consult with the bride-to-be on what type of activities are allowed for the bachelor party, the same is true with the groom and maid-of-honor. The guests of honor of the bachelor party or bachelorette parties are expected to be treated to the event and the cost are supposed to be shared evenly or fairly amongst all the attendees. If the event is to be with close encounters with the opposite sex whether it be at go-go bars, strip clubs, or Chip-n-Dales reviews, just be sure everything is agreed to and in good clean fun. The goal of a bachelor party is to celebrate the occasion of the upcoming wedding and have some fun and it's not to put stress in a wedding couple's relationship.
Some psychologists suggest for the bride-to-be and groom-to-be to go out on a dinner date the night before the bachelor party especially if the event leaves them apart. If one is at a bachelor party, the other one should try to have one too, even if the two bachelor parties are quite different. One group can go clubbing while the other group goes shopping, dinner, and to the movies. Just be sure, one person isn't home watching the clock and wondering what the other one's doing, and creating anxiety. If you are going to have a good marriage you need the trust thing.
If you are going clubbing, make sure you go with a responsible group, don't invite individuals that can't handle their liquor, have a quick temper, can't control their hormones with the opposite sex, or tend to get obnoxious. Be sure to bring a camera to any bachelor or bachelorette party and take some good pictures. Don't forget to include the pictures in the back of your wedding album or wedding related album.
Bachelor party invites are suppose to go out a month before the party to help insure there is not a conflict with other invitee's plans. Remember, the wedding couple could be pro-active and help generate a bachelor party in which they both can be comfortable at. Remember the rule, no bachelor parties are allowed once you get within 3 days of the wedding. Bachelor party traditions aren't exactly like they used to be. Enjoy your last days as a single!
See you on the other side!