Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Step 12 - Select Members for your Bridal Party

(9 Months to 24 Months Before the Wedding)
It's your wedding day so you want loved ones to share it with you! Selecting your bridal party can be a challenging task, there are so many people close to you who you want to be a part of your big day. You have too many people in your lives to choose from. Some of your family and friends may be deeply hurt that you did not choose them. Others might feel obligated to agree to be in the wedding party but wish they were not chosen (they don't get along with other members of the party or have a busy work schedule and will find difficulty in meeting bridal obligations).

At some smaller weddings, you have two routes you can go. Do you focus on family siblings, cousins, and other family members, or do you focus on close friends? For larger weddings, you can have a nice mix of family and friends. With whom to choose for your bridal party, you should put a priority on picking someone who is more likely to be part of your life for years to come. Also pick those bridal party members that are willing to help you on on your wedding planning! You want to select members of your bridal party that you want and not because a family relative or friend is pushing. It's your wedding, you want it to be the best it can be and you want to be surrounded by very special people.

A good guide to go by, for every 50 wedding guests, select one bridesmaid and groomsman. This is just a guide, you can have as many bridesmaids and groomsmen as you want but keep in mind the additional costs for more attendants. For each additional attendant, the more flowers you will need, the more party favors you will need, and more clothing will have to be picked up for the wedding. For photogenic purposes, try to pair the couple according to size. The photography and videography and the chemistry will make the wedding look harmonic. (Be careful, get an okay, if you've got a tall guy and a small woman that are a couple in the bridal party, they might take offense in pairing with somebody that is not their beloved)!

As you choose your made of honor, consider the role of the maid of honor. She is someone by your side throughout the wedding and who will help you with planning and with anything else you might need. Years ago, you might have made a promise to your best friend, that she would be maid of honor at your wedding. You might still be close friends, but your lives have taken both of you in different directions, you are still close but you are not part of each other's daily lives any more. Your maid of honor should be someone who you are close to today and your future.

The popular choices for your maid of honor are, your sister, your fiance's sister, a close female relative, or your best friend. If you aren't sure which whom to choose, talk it over with your fiance and get some of his input. Keep in mind, this is your wedding, you can only pick one maid of honor. A family member or your best friend may feel hurt at first but after a few days, reality will sink in and the family member or your best friend will understand your decision and respect your choices.

Besides helping you plan your wedding, going on some of the wedding vendor interviews, coordinating appointments with your bridal party, you want to have someone that especially looks out for you the day of the ceremony and wedding reception, makes sure your dress looks perfect, your hair and makeup are in place, walk over and leave a message to a wedding guest and help take care of any matters that come up.

As for choosing the best man, it's the choice of the groom and is usually the groom's brother, his fiance's brother or his best friend. It does not matter if the best man is married or single. The duties of the best man are as follows: he is happy to accept the duty, he emotes enthusiasm and has good communication skills, he is comfortable making a speech in front of a large group of people, he gets along with the bride, he can deal with any emergency situation, he can be relied on to safeguard and remember to bring the rings to the wedding, he is able to devote time to the ceremony and be willing to give a toast at the wedding reception.

When the groom asks a relative or close friend to be the best man, he should see the person accepts the role without any doubt or hesitation. You need a commitment and don't want to make changes on the best man at the last moment.

Does the couple want a flower girl for the wedding? A flower girl is usually a young girl between the ages of 4 and 8 who has a special connection to the bride and groom. Perhaps she is a niece, much younger sister, cousin or daughter of a close family friend. She follows behind the bridesmaids or maid of honor with a basket of flowers, scattering them down the aisle. Tradition says you should have one flower girl but you can have two or three or you don't have to have any. Do not tab someone who is too young or they may get scared. A nice flower girl adds to the cuteness quotient of the wedding.

A ring bearer is usually a young boy between the ages of 4 and 8 who has a special connection to the bride and groom. He may be related or the son of a close friend to the family. His duty is to walk down the aisle immediately after the flower girl or the maid of honor, with the wedding rings tied to a small pillow in front of him. As with the case with the flower girl, you don't have to have a ring bearer but he also adds cuteness to the wedding ceremony.

So now you have your bridal party, by having important and special people around you they are all going to add to your exciting and special day. Enjoy your big day! See you on the other side!

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